I have been writing diligently for days since I got back from my trip. The hard part is that I relive every word as I write it. The section I am editing/rewriting is where it all happened, the hard part, but I have changed. I am not the girl/woman I was when I started writing it all down in 2005. It has changed me to write the story and see the progress of my life, how I coped or rejoiced at each stage. I feel good now about how I handled things, and can see in retrospect that I forged on and raised my daughter in a happy-well- maintained household despite tragedy. Her life has been filled with joy, good friends, a close family, no drama. The adults in her life were adults, all good things.
While writing today, I also realized that my husband and I were able to cope with his personal struggle with life/job/dream changes and the loss of his father, by focusing on our life with our daughter, the way I had poured into her as a baby when my mother died.
Our daughter's presence in our daily life and home was a ray of light.
We participated in her school life and supported her basketball and cheerleading activities. We helped her grow musically with our leadership in youth, our band, and worship team. There were formals and family trips, church and the maintenance of our home. We held youth activities in our home and took them all to camp. The last year she was at home we worked on her incredible wedding that would gather our extended family together for the last time.
When she graduated and went off to college, moved out and got married, we were in the middle of other changes too. We got an assignment to Texas where Chris would teach flying instruction to new instructors. He was still flying at 44 and had a great career, even post F-16 pilot, instructor, and other tremendous accomplishments.
That move was the first since 1985 without our daughter.
We moved as a couple, a smaller unit. I got a job as a worship leader in Texas, but not long after we moved there, Chris was forced to stop flying because of severe allergic reactions to Texas. He was still with the Air Force, but his job changed and that changed us. His career that had been so interesting and exciting became a source of disappointment and frustration over time.
Once so symbiant, our lives seem to be lived near each other, and not close and working in sync anymore.
We saw that his career with the Air Force was at the point where it had reached its zenith, and we would have to figure out how to adjust. Over the two years we lived there (married move 18 I think?), the lifelessness and losses spilled into our marriage.
My book is about the antebellum house I bought to give us a new challenge and focus, when he retired as a Lt. Colonel and we moved back to Mississippi. It is about my life, growing up in the 60's and 70's, coping with death and other life changing events, but it also about triumph. It is about my amazing parents and how fun it was to be a child in their household.
It is about discovering that my happy life would be happy again, and how to revitalize life after the kids are gone and your career runs its course. It is not an easy task. At 65,000 words so far, the edit and rewrite are the most difficult and exciting thing I have ever done.
My questions for you are "Do you know who you are without your career or your children? What about without your spouse?"
When those things change or are lost, we will have to know ourselves, and find a way to adjust/revitalize what we have left.
Barefoot and writing,
Kim as always I write to myself, take what speaks to you and leave the rest
you many also enjoy: Life Lesson 49: Your life is now.
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While writing today, I also realized that my husband and I were able to cope with his personal struggle with life/job/dream changes and the loss of his father, by focusing on our life with our daughter, the way I had poured into her as a baby when my mother died.
Our daughter's presence in our daily life and home was a ray of light.
We participated in her school life and supported her basketball and cheerleading activities. We helped her grow musically with our leadership in youth, our band, and worship team. There were formals and family trips, church and the maintenance of our home. We held youth activities in our home and took them all to camp. The last year she was at home we worked on her incredible wedding that would gather our extended family together for the last time.
When she graduated and went off to college, moved out and got married, we were in the middle of other changes too. We got an assignment to Texas where Chris would teach flying instruction to new instructors. He was still flying at 44 and had a great career, even post F-16 pilot, instructor, and other tremendous accomplishments.
That move was the first since 1985 without our daughter.
We moved as a couple, a smaller unit. I got a job as a worship leader in Texas, but not long after we moved there, Chris was forced to stop flying because of severe allergic reactions to Texas. He was still with the Air Force, but his job changed and that changed us. His career that had been so interesting and exciting became a source of disappointment and frustration over time.
Once so symbiant, our lives seem to be lived near each other, and not close and working in sync anymore.
We saw that his career with the Air Force was at the point where it had reached its zenith, and we would have to figure out how to adjust. Over the two years we lived there (married move 18 I think?), the lifelessness and losses spilled into our marriage.
My book is about the antebellum house I bought to give us a new challenge and focus, when he retired as a Lt. Colonel and we moved back to Mississippi. It is about my life, growing up in the 60's and 70's, coping with death and other life changing events, but it also about triumph. It is about my amazing parents and how fun it was to be a child in their household.
It is about discovering that my happy life would be happy again, and how to revitalize life after the kids are gone and your career runs its course. It is not an easy task. At 65,000 words so far, the edit and rewrite are the most difficult and exciting thing I have ever done.
My questions for you are "Do you know who you are without your career or your children? What about without your spouse?"
When those things change or are lost, we will have to know ourselves, and find a way to adjust/revitalize what we have left.
Barefoot and writing,
Kim as always I write to myself, take what speaks to you and leave the rest
you many also enjoy: Life Lesson 49: Your life is now.
Popular posts
About me
