Life Lesson 36: Wean yourself from drama/ negative relationships. You know the ones I am talking about, the emotional roller coaster rides that suck the life out of you.
This post I want to lament "Where do I even start??" The drama relationship is draining, negative and addictive. These people often cannot have a normal relationship and drag their various partners through trauma after trauma. They manipulate and guilt the other parties into staying with them or doing what they need or want. I don't think it is a conscious thing. To me it seems as if there is no malice there most of the time either. They feel extreme highs and lows such as the manic personality or the bi-polar personality and drag their partner with them.
They will create drama to combat their emotional issues to feel something big. They will block out emotional intimacy as a control device and then open the floodgates when they feel as if they will be abandoned.
I am not a behavioral scientist. I am simply an observer of human behavior who has seen and experienced the destruction that these relationships can bring about. Other observations include
the surprise of the individual when confronted with their behavior and the uncanny ability to turn the situation around and blame the other party. They become the damsel in distress, the martyr, the one who needs to be rescued in some way or taken care of.
The acquaintances of these individuals will defend them and say they are sweet" or "so nice," but it
is the intimate of the drama personality that knows the truth of what life is truly like with these folks.
Intimates of these people will know that behind closed doors is a cycle of anger, depression, coldness, lack of intimacy, and blame.
The addiction comes from the drama relationship alternating negative behavior cycles with short periods of close and loving behavior.
The rescuer is the spouse or partner to the drama personality and becomes addicted to reproducing the periods of calm loving behavior much like a gambler addicted to the Big Win. The intermittent reward of loving behavior is highly addictive.
The question would be "What should the would be rescuer do?"
Possible responses:
1. Do nothing and continue in the crazy cycle and misery.
2. Get counseling.
3. Help the drama personality get counseling.
4. End the relationship
Aye, the dilemma of adult behavior.
Well,from someone who has responded three of the four ways without success, I suggest number 4 especially if children are involved.
Tough to be an adult sometimes, but our lives are for but a short time in the scheme of things and we should live them well, instead of in misery. Take care of yourself and you will be a better person for the world.
Protect your children and give the world more adjusted relationships.
Barefoot, respectful and writing,
Kim
about the author
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This post I want to lament "Where do I even start??" The drama relationship is draining, negative and addictive. These people often cannot have a normal relationship and drag their various partners through trauma after trauma. They manipulate and guilt the other parties into staying with them or doing what they need or want. I don't think it is a conscious thing. To me it seems as if there is no malice there most of the time either. They feel extreme highs and lows such as the manic personality or the bi-polar personality and drag their partner with them.
They will create drama to combat their emotional issues to feel something big. They will block out emotional intimacy as a control device and then open the floodgates when they feel as if they will be abandoned.
I am not a behavioral scientist. I am simply an observer of human behavior who has seen and experienced the destruction that these relationships can bring about. Other observations include
the surprise of the individual when confronted with their behavior and the uncanny ability to turn the situation around and blame the other party. They become the damsel in distress, the martyr, the one who needs to be rescued in some way or taken care of.
The acquaintances of these individuals will defend them and say they are sweet" or "so nice," but it
is the intimate of the drama personality that knows the truth of what life is truly like with these folks.
Intimates of these people will know that behind closed doors is a cycle of anger, depression, coldness, lack of intimacy, and blame.
The addiction comes from the drama relationship alternating negative behavior cycles with short periods of close and loving behavior.
The rescuer is the spouse or partner to the drama personality and becomes addicted to reproducing the periods of calm loving behavior much like a gambler addicted to the Big Win. The intermittent reward of loving behavior is highly addictive.
The question would be "What should the would be rescuer do?"
Possible responses:
1. Do nothing and continue in the crazy cycle and misery.
2. Get counseling.
3. Help the drama personality get counseling.
4. End the relationship
Aye, the dilemma of adult behavior.
Well,from someone who has responded three of the four ways without success, I suggest number 4 especially if children are involved.
Tough to be an adult sometimes, but our lives are for but a short time in the scheme of things and we should live them well, instead of in misery. Take care of yourself and you will be a better person for the world.
Protect your children and give the world more adjusted relationships.
Barefoot, respectful and writing,
Kim
about the author
MORE POPULAR POSTS by Kimberlycarol
